Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize