you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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