I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
