You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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