everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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