I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
