Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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