it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
