Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
