We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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