She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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