Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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