Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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