so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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