We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize