You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Its about making memories worth repressing
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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