just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
