This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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