everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
