My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize