she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
