There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
