I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
