It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
