Say something about gay babies.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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