How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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