is wine microwaveable?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
