he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
