Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
