i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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