i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
