just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
