DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
