And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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