Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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