Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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