doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
40s are totally the cure
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
