yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
