actually, I'm a sock model
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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