yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
