Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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