Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
