Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
