I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
