Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
