You can't motorboat a personality
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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