We're like a lot better than the average bears
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
