i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I want her autograph on my taint
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
