Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
