Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Randomize
