I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
