I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
