why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
