How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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