I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
