I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
