coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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