What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
