ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Green mimosas i think yes
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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