Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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