I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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