Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize