I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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