I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Can you bring me the toilet please
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
