So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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