Im at strip club and am horny
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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