I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I have aggressive nipples.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize