That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
