Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
