I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
