Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
