Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
