Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
