SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
