His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
