How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
